Friday 20 June 2014

Differences

Someone I know made a comment near the beginning of the year, and ever since I've been thinking a lot about it.

I was talking to him, and he asked me why I often sit off on my own. I responded, telling him that socializing is not my strong point, due to the fact that I do not know what to say to people a lot of the time. Like, I can talk to some, but I find it hard to keep a conversation flowing in real life (it's easier on the internet), especially with someone who I don't know or barely know. It's almost impossible for me to talk to a complete stranger. But, I am slowly learning and improving.

His response, though, is what has gotten me thinking so much.

"Oh, your life must be boring, then."

It truly baffles me, to be honest. I don't socialize as much as others, so my life must be boring? His response was not meant as an insult, and nor do I take it as one, it's just an off comment. But, it got me thinking.

I do understand where he's coming from. He's probably one of those people who socializes all the time. One of those people who enjoys to be around people all the time.

But, the fact that his immediate response to someone, whose social life is very different from his, is to think it's boring, well, that's just strange, to me.

No, I'm not the kind of person who enjoys being around people 24/7. I do need my space (quite frequently, sometimes). I enjoy sitting off on my own, with a book. Or a piece of paper, and a pencil, where I draw. I enjoy going off on my own and playing music. I enjoy just being on my own and 'zoning out' while I listen to music.

My life isn't 'boring'. I have so much I do, so much I think about, so much that keeps me entertained.

But, I guess, this happens a lot. People have differences. I've come to the conclusion that the 'standard' way of thinking is: Oh, you're different, you live your life differently, you must be boring/stupid/crazy.

People can't seem to handle differences. They like things to be the same. They don't like the fact that people are different. They like new things, sometimes, but they dislike the thought of people being so different, and living different lives from their own.

I'm quite good at handling different people, I've discovered. There's only been one person who I've met who I didn't know how to handle, and that's mainly because I couldn't seem to have any form of conversation with her. Like, she refused to listen to anyone, pretty much.



Another point, on the topic of people being 'different', which I think about a lot is the derogatory, and insulting, use of the word 'retard' in modern society. I, as a person who was born with Autism, find it highly insulting every time a person makes a joke/statement saying:
"That's retarded!"
"You're so retarded!"
"Oh my gosh, are they retarded?"
"You just went full retard. Never go full retard."

People seem to think that they're being 'funny' or 'cool'. Sorry to inform anybody who uses it, but, they're not. It's not funny. At all.

Retard means:
'Delay or hold back in terms of progress or development'
'A person who has a mental disability (often used as a general term of abuse)'

The fact that 'retard' has been defined with the definition that it's a term of abuse truly disgusts me. I'm not saying there aren't 'retarded' people out there. Because, let's face it, there are. People with 'mental disabilities' are technically 'retarded'.

It isn't funny to use the term to define every day objects. It's not cool to define things as this just because they're a little bit different than what you're used to. People don't understand what it's like to be 'retarded'. People don't get the fact that others lives are a struggle every day because they're 'retarded'.

That sandwich you're holding? It isn't retarded. That program on your computer? Neither is that. Your perfectly 'normal' friend? They're not retarded, either. That weird sound you just heard? That is also not retarded.

People need to wake up and realize that, just as terms that are considered 'racist' are highly insulting to some people, which is why we are not allowed to use them, the term 'retarded' is highly insulting to others, and should not be used lightly.



In summary: Yes, people are different from you. People think differently. People act differently. That doesn't mean that they're 'bad people'. That doesn't mean that they lead 'boring lives'. Respect them. Respect is something that seems to be deteriorating in the modern world, which upsets me. Respect others. It's really that simple.

4 comments:

  1. I totally get what you mean about people thinking your life must be boring if you don't go and see a lot of people. In my family, not socializing a lot is actually normal. We just prefer to stay home and do things together, or on our own. Seriously, there is such a lot of stuff to do at home, how could we ever get bored? I think solitude can be a gift sometimes (especially in the mornings.)

    It is a terrible truth that most people don't think about the way they use the word 'retarded'. I never used it much myself, but I never really thought about how insulting it was until I started to see a lot of mentally handicapped people. In my area, there are quite a few, and they're all such lovely people that to use the word retarded in any way except explaining that they're not fully mentally developed is a real insult to them. Plus my dad is a teacher and he often teaches kids with metal problems, so that too really makes me a lot more sensitive in the way I talk about these people. But you're right. There definitely needs to be more respect for people, especially people who live with a disability every day.

    I really enjoyed this post Helena, and hearing your thoughts on this. Sorry if I've written an essay of a comment!

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    1. Hi Imogen,

      It's good to know that someone else understands! I don't think we could ever get bored, with all the things we have around our homes to keep us occupied. I also agree that solitude is a gift, especially in the mornings. I'm definitely not a morning person!

      It is sad that 'retarded' has become a part of every day speech here. People have told me it just means 'stupid', so, from what I understand, people can just be uneducated in the actual meaning of the word, and what it means to people. And, of course, there's others who would just use it because that's the way modern society seems to work. That's just a word that is used all around them, so they use it as well. No real thought seems to be involved.

      Thanks, Imogen! It's okay, I love long comments! :)

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  2. Helena,

    We're all different in our home! Actually I interviewed Callum the other day, for one of my videos, and we talked about being different. We decided it is good to be different! Why be like everyone else?

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    Replies
    1. Hi Sue,

      I agree, it is good to be different! If everyone was the same, the world would be boring, indeed! I look forward to watching the video. :)

      Delete

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